Tag Archives: humor

UNDERSTANDING THE WINDSOR KNOT (PATOOIE)

PATOOIE

Fraidy Cat’s greatest fear is of losing the Connection.

He calls it The Word..

Fraidy Cat has followers. They are helping to spread The Word. (The Word, the Word), the Word again is The Connection.

It goes like this…

“Don’t Think-Listen.”

“Don’t question-believe.” And …….

“Never, never taste your food before you salt it.”

And…….

“Always do the ‘right’ next thing.”

WHAT? HOW’S THAT AGAIN?

 MUD PIES
PHOTOGRAPHY     SANDRA SCHOU

 

WHAT? HOW’S THAT AGAIN?

 How introduces simple Logic
What says You Must do This.

How seeks Truth no matter what.
What seeks proof of a Kiss.

How is  based on Love alone.
What says you wouldn’t dare

How is the way of the Tortoise.
What is the way of The Hare.

How is the flight of the Albatross
What is the way of the Free.

What is the Law, the Rule of Thumb
Free is the How for me.

WHOOPEE!!!

CELEBRITY STATUS (THERE’S NOTHING LIKE IT)

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Scarcity begets Popularity.

If you wear a skirt, a shirt or you read the morning paper while sitting in a beautiful chair created as a limited edition of ONE or if you possess a tidbit of knowledge which has not yet entered the realm of COMMON SENSE you may soon be celebrated by those whose clamor for attention fails to bridge the gap between the world of regular stuff and the world of scarcity…

You could soon become a Celebrity…

So much for scarcity…

And exclusivity.

BUFFALO BILL SHOOS A FLY AND A GNAT WITH A SINGLE SWAT

Lee_Broom

BUFFALO BILL SHOOS A FLY AND A GNAT WITH A SINGLE SWAT

 

On display for all to see who were able,

”It is I”

Said the natty, gnat, gnat on the nose of the fly

Who was perched on the nose of an irritable guy; “Take that”.

And Buffalo Bill, he swatted away

At the fly on his nose,

And the gnat (there he goes),

As his world went awry, said “goodbye”.

 

And Buffalo Bill with tie in hand

Completed the Windsor knot.

“handsome is as handsome does”

(He loved this tie a lot),

 

Except for the spot

Where the fly had lit

(Didn’t miss that fly one little bit)

 

So happy he was that the fly was gone.

The gnat by the way was again In the way.

And the hand of the man went SWAT once again

And returned to the glass for one last view

Perfecting the knot said “Look at you

My…

You are a handsome man.”

 

 

 

CELEBRITY STATUS (THERE’S NOTHING LIKE IT)

1521885_10201616365948693_664908767_n

Scarcity begets Popularity.

If you wear a skirt, a shirt or you read the morning paper while sitting in a beautiful chair created as a limited edition of ONE or if you possess a tidbit of knowledge which has not yet entered the realm of COMMON SENSE you may soon be celebrated by those whose clamor for attention fails to bridge the gap between the world of regular stuff and the world of scarcity…

You could soon become a Celebrity…

So much for scarcity…

And exclusivity.

CREATING STANDUP

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My son, whose brief but popular career as a nightclub comic, once told me that his formula for creating standup jokes was one he learned from others of his ilk. His method: make a ridiculous statement; then prove it. Hmmm;

I am not thinking of a white rhinoceros. I know this because I am saddled to an elephant hippety- hopping hither and yon. (If this isn’t funny perhaps it ‘s because I am not standing up. Try hippety hopping astride an elephant some time…or atop a white rhinoceros.)